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It’s been a while since I really touched on my personal life on the blog and I think it would be fair to say that 2015 was a real test for me both physically and mentally.
When things aren’t going so well I tend to retreat in on myself and speak about it less- if I don’t verbalise it (or in this case type it) then quite simply it isn’t happening.Now, as we slide in to a brand new year I finally feel as though I am ready to address things and begin to move forwards again.
One way or another this is going to be a big year for me, kicking off with moving out of my parental home to a flat with Ben and there are many more goals I have that I wan’t to achieve over the next 365 days.
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I have never been one to set resolutions for the new year, not ones that are concrete and set in stone as I feel that essentially I am setting myself up to fail. I can’t afford to fail this time though, there is too much at stake. At 28 years of age I am simply too old to retreat back in to anorexia every time the going gets tough. Therefore, with the usual fear and trepidation my number one goal for the year is to get my weight, and more importantly my health back on track so I can well and truly move away from the illness’ grasp and FINALLY live a life free of it.
Another aim for the coming year is to learn to think a little less. I will be the first to admit to being an over-thinker. Even the simplest of things like which shoes to wear or what to put on my toast in the morning can be a mammoth task when my anxiety levels are high. I’m currently using the book “Fear the Fear and do it Anyway” to help break this cycle and if anyone would be interesting in a follow up as to how I get on I’d be happy to share.
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On a less heavy note there are other things I want to do and achieve in 2016 as well. Socialise more (because blogging events are meant to be fun, not a huge source of anxiety) and re-connect with my friends. Get outdoors more and enjoy my local area. Finally get driving under my belt, spend quality time with my family and most importantly just live for each day as it comes.
Blogging may be a bit sporadic over the next few weeks as I prepare to move, get moved and get internet sorted. I suppose I’ll also be grappling with that urge to jump on the first post-Christmas diet that gets advertised. There’s something quite ironic about trying to put weight on in January, right? Especially when there is still an evil resident in your head telling you that there is no need and trying to make you delete this entire post.
I’d like to take the blog down more of a lifestyle route this year, moving away from being only my personal style. I’d welcome comments and suggestions on what kind of content you’d be interested in reading, as the people who keep coming back here to see what I have to say your feedback is invaluable.
