I guess this outfit is my version of “jeans and a nice top” now that I’m over 30 and pretty anti-social (I much prefer an early night in comfy pjs than crawling home in the small hours dressed up to the nines and my wardrobe very much reflects that).
This hoodie was a fortituous find as I thought that I had missed out on the rather fabulous Levis x Hello Kitty collaboration/that I wouldn’t ever be able to justify spending the money on it. A visit to Clarks Village came good though as not only did we find my dream hoodie at 20% off, but Bob decided that I simply must own it and treated me.
The jeans are another recent find. I really struggle with jeans, I strongly dislike how I look in them, and find that most pairs just leave me in a pit of self loathing after about five minutes. In desperation I took to social media to see what jeans people were loving and took up Sophie’s recommendation of the New Look Lift and Shape skinny jeans, which are affordable, flattering AND comfortable.
I’ve really neglected the more personal aspect of blogging lately. It’s all lifestyle/life advice type content because I just haven’t been in the right headspace to put myself out there at all. October was a hard month, historically it always has been for me and it’s taken quite a lot of inner strength (stubbornness) and support from Bob to get through. It’s November now though and it’s already shaping up to be a better month, and I have a renewed determination and motivation to get to my final targets in terms of health and wellbeing (and what better time of year to be trying to gain a few kilos right? Extra warmth and so many seasonal foods about).
We’re just coming to the end of a super chilled out weekend, one we both needed after a horrible week. There’s been time with my family, time curled up watching movies and drinking gin, good food, many laughs and a hefty dose of productivity around the house.
So that’s kind of where I’m at lately. Struggling with myself a bit, but ploughing through. We have such a busy month coming up with various commitments and a week away up with Bob’s Mum as he turns 30…and then before we know it we’ll be in full blown Christmas madness. I’m really hoping I can get some better posts up…gift guides, wish lists, wedding planning updates…
What have you been up to lately? Watched any good films/TV series? Recommendations welcome. Until next time…
It’s world mental health day and I wouldn’t be where I am now without people pushing me to admit it when I wasn’t ok. Check in on those around you, let them know you care and that you have concerns. If you aren’t convinced, ask twice. Make sure everyone knows that it’s ok not to be ok. My journey has shaped me beyond all recognition and I’m not afraid to talk about it. Too many people still are, it’s time to drop the stigma. It’s time to talk.
This blog has seen me through my best times, and my worst times. Without having this space to share my journey, and at times let of steam I don’t know where I would be.
If you’re struggling and don’t know where to turn here are some easy to access resources for anyone in the UK:
You may recognise this dress from a previous wish list post…and lucky me, my Mum treated me to it (FYI, it’s on sale for just £20 now!)
I knew instantly that I wanted to photograph it for the blog, getting back in to outfit photos on a regular basis is something that has been on my agenda for a long time, but quite honestly, I think I have forgotten how to do it!
Shoes c/o Pretty Little Thing
Whereas once posing for photos came pretty naturally, now I do it so infrequently that I just do not know what to do with myself and I find myself feeling incredibly self conscious even thought it’s just Bob and I (with the occasional interruption from Pablo).
Practice makes perfect though right? I really do need to make more of an effort to keep this up. There’s so many things I want to do with the blog, but it seems like I’ve lacked the get up and go to do them. I used to take such pride in keeping this place up to date and looking good, but then I fell in to the “I’m not good enough” slump and it just never happened.
I’m slowly starting to shift that attitude though, not just in terms of blogging, but in life in general. I’ve let insecurity get in my way for as long as I can remember, but finally, at the age of 32 I realise enough is enough.
That being said, if any one has any ideas for the blog, for how to pose for photos, or for how to stop giving a shit about what other people may or may not be thinking then I would be most grateful because I don’t have a whole lot of faith in my own ideas.
The photos in this post were taken so long ago, I don’t even remember when; probably sometime between my birthday and when we went on holiday, but I can’t be sure. So much has changed since then, it’s crazy. I feel like I’ve reached yet another turning point, and whilst it isn’t all plain sailing, I’m loving it.
Life: Life has been so chaotic since we got back from America. First there was the jet-lag (which was far worse than I could ever have predicted). Then we had busy weekends with family and friends, celebrating our engagement and attending a truly fabulous wedding. We’ve had a couple of more relaxed weekends recently, and I had a week off work which I used to re-charge, and I’m starting to learn it’s ok to rest as much as it is ok to be frantically busy all of the time. It’s ok to feel like you have no time to do anything, to fall behind on the housework and then be so exhausted all you can do is vegetate. I’ve learnt to accept that things can’t be perfect all of the time, and most importantly I am learning to deal with the anxiety that provokes.
Home life is fantastic, our little rented house feels like a proper home at last, and Pablo, Bob and I make a great little unit. Pablo continues to keep us on our toes, his most recent escapade being falling out of our bedroom window. Thankfully he suffered little more than a busted too which required a minor op, but he is the poster child for why pet insurance is crucial!
Wedding: Somehow we’ve been engaged for 10 weeks! I’m still in a slight state of disbelief- I never thought I’d find the person I truly can’t imagine my life without, but here I am, ring on my finger and totally clueless as to where to start! We’ve been asked loads when the wedding will be- a couple of years yet! We’re looking at Autumn 2021 to give us time to save and plan. I might sound stupid here, but I had no idea just how expensive weddings were! I knew they were costly but it seems everything is mega money and we really don’t want to get in to debt for our big day. We have a couple of venue ideas in mind, but that’s about it as far as plans go. Of course I’ve looked online at dresses and shoes and all of the super girly bits- egged on by one very excited mother of the bride! Bob and I have put together a rough guest list and over the coming weeks hopefully we’ll get a bit more of a solid plan in to place so we know just how much of our hard earned cash we need to stash away.
I’ll gladly welcome any and all wedding planning tips, I truly find the whole thing baffling!
Mental Health & Recovery: It wouldn’t be a sit down and ramble about life post without touching on my mental health and recovery. In short, things are great. I can’t remember a time in my adult life when I have every been happier, things have steadily been getting better since meeting Bob two and a half years ago, but recently things seem to have fallen in to place a little bit more.
Anorexia wise I am probably the most “normal” I have ever been since first becoming unwell at the age of 15. It’s been a 17 year uphill battle but finally I have hope that I can beat this for good. Recently I’ve been enjoying the things that many people will take for granted- eating lunch and snacks with colleagues rather than going to sit out in the rain, or going without because I couldn’t stand others seeing me eat. I have enjoyed fancy meals at lovely restaurants, and surprised Bob by suggesting meals or snacks that have previously been off the cards. When we first met there were about three dinners we rotated between…now we do have our regular favourites, but we have variety and normality in the cooking process; using oil, letting someone cook for me and serve up for me. Flexibility and freedom. There is still a way to go, kinks to iron out, challenges to embrace and that ever present last little bit of weight restoration (for long-term health and potential baby carrying). I still get stressed by food at times, cry over things that may seem trivial, but I am well and truly winning, helped along the way by some fantastic books around intuitive eating (please say if you’d like more on this as I could write a post).
In terms of general mental health things are looking good too. I had a bad week last week where my mood took a random dip and anxiety ruled, but I’ve bounced back and recovered. I’m working on reducing medications, find I can do more and more that previously would have been impossible- two lots of drinks with colleagues/friends in a week? No problem! Speaking my mind in a difficult situation? Why not!
I don’t know what prompted this post, but it’s been therapeutic to write it. I’ve been in a bit of a blogging slump lately but I’m starting to break free of it and hopefully can make this a place I am proud to call my own again.
High fives and a chocolate finger to anyone who made it this far! Until next time…
When we first moved in together Bob and I invested some time in to finding the best broadband deals for us, and ended up with a pretty sweet introductory one year offer. In the next couple of months this special rate is due to end, and with a wedding to save up for and a deep-seated desire to never pay more than I have to for anything, I’ve started the search once more.
It might sound like a lot of hassle, but it is worth shopping around as there are big savings to be had on high speed internet with places such as infinitydish.com
Price comparison websites should be your first port of call, you can enter your requirements and your area and you’ll instantly see the best offers that are tailored to your needs. This is how we ended up with such a great package the first time round and it’s the main step I’ll be taking this time should we decide to switch. Things change all the time in the world of broadband providers so I think an annual check of what’s on offer is also a good way to check you’re still getting the best speeds, download allowances and any other offers (i.e. discounts on entertainment packages or a combined internet/phone TV package).
Cashback sites are also worth checking out too, as many of the main broadband providers will be linked with the market leaders here and you could end up netting £50, or more cashback when you sign up as a new customer with a provider as well as getting a good deal on your package- who doesn’t love free money? I’m a big fan of cashback sites and use anything I make to top up the wedding fund!
If you’re happy with your current provider and don’t actually want to switch you could try haggling with them. It’s a competitive market and companies will do their best to keep you on their books. If you’re facing a price hike, or have found a better deal elsewhere but don’t really want to leave then give customer services a call and see what new deals they can offer. The best time to do this is just around when your current contract is due to expire as the threat of you leaving is real (trying to leave mid-contract will end up costing you). Be polite but persistent with this one and you’ll be surprised at what savings there are to be had.
I can’t believe we’re only two months away from being in our little house for a year, the time has flown by at an alarming speed!
Do you have any top tips for getting the best broadband deal? I’d love to see hear them…
