Change is good, it’s not something that should be feared – especially when you’re in control of it. There are tons of things that you can do, (some more drastic than others) that will give you a new sense of yourself. It’s important to remember that you are constantly evolving. You may have gone up on your career path and are working towards your dream job. You may have finally left that toxic relationship and are now a free, strong, independent woman. Or you may have just decided that you’re wasting so much time pretending to be someone else, and you’re done with it.

One of our biggest problems is getting caught up in comparisons. We will always seek out other women and compare the size of our boobs to theirs, or whatever else. And believe it or not, guys do it too so it’s not just a ‘girl thing’. You’ll see a woman walking down the street with her head held high, stunning golden locks that fall down her back, and a face that looks so pretty she could be a fairy. Not to mention her style. And immediately we feel crappy about ourselves and wish that we could be more like that. When really, she might be eyeing you up thinking the exact same thing. Sometimes it’s so easy to get distracted by beauty, that you don’t see the other things, like her nervous hand tic because she’s crossing the road and feels super paranoid. Or the fact she always wears her hair down so that she feels more masked and covered. So don’t be so quick to assume that that pretty girl has it all.

But how do you focus on yourself properly, you ask?

Here’s how…

Your face.

Makeup, makeup, and makeup. Why do we love it so much? – Because it’s magic. It can transform you in so many ways. Once upon a time all we could do was try with what we had in our beauty bag and hope for the best. Until a few years ago when social media became the teacher to us all, blessing us with makeup tutorials on how to fix our faces like the professionals do. And now it has never been more fun to experiment and play around with all the products that are out there.

When choosing your base, you’ll want to make sure that the colour is right for your skin tone. If you’re lucky, you will find the perfect shade, but unfortunately, a lot of you may have to mix a couple. But this isn’t a bad thing, because bear in mind in the summer, your skin would have caught the sun anyway, making you slightly darker, so having two shades of foundation can actually work to your advantage. You can also use bronzer is the summer time to contour with as a pose to your usual contour sticks, because it still creates the shadow you want, but without being too harsh and heavy – especially when it’s super hot outside. Plus it gives you a nice shimmer and glow at the same time.

If you’re looking to do something different with your makeup routine though, you’d be amazed at how changing a couple products will do just that. Lipstick, and blusher. Don’t wear either already? – Start applying them. Already wear them? – Change the colour.

The hair.

Your hair is what frames your entire face, think of it as the frame that shows off the pretty painting inside. A bad one will tarnish that piece of artwork, while a good one will compliment it. The best way to pick the right kind of cut, is to figure out what face shape you have, as this plays a big role in the overall look. Short hair for round faces pairs up wonderfully, especially when cut with a lot of texture by having shorter layers that are uneven, as this will give you more edge and create depth. While doing this on a longer face may make it appear even longer. So you need to put all of this into consideration before you go chopping away.

You will also want to think about the colour. If you’re happy with the shade it is now, then never feel the need to dye or bleach it because you think it’s how people will want to see you. You do you. Having said that, if you do want to spruce things up a little, why not go to the salon and get some highlights or lowlights put in? This way you don’t have to stray too far away from your natural colour, but you can still get some more definition going, especially as the sun starts to make an appearance, catching those subtle lights. And if you’re feeling really daring, then go pink, or purple, or blue, or red, or all of them combined! This is the beauty of creating your own look – you can do whatever you want. Be free, break out from the norm. Sure, expect to get some looks, but don’t immediately perceive them as being negative – people look out of awe and wonder, and maybe even think to themselves, “I wish I had the confidence to do that!”

Your outfit.

Be the trendsetter that you know you can be. There are so many different looks that are going on right now, sometimes it’s hard to keep up, but hey – you don’t have to. Just because the magazines or Instagram tell you what is in trend this season, doesn’t mean you have to follow it. Seek inspiration wherever you see fit. This could be from online, or the tv, or out and about in the city. Or even nature. There are so many things that are beautiful, so take what you can, and combine them all together to create your very own style.

One great way to figuring out your sense of style if you’re struggling, is to think about music. What kind of genre do you listen to? Who’s your favourite musician? What songs make you feel all types of ways? Being in touch with that emotion and feeling is brilliant because it allows you to create a vibe that is of substance. If you believe it, then people will feel it as soon as you walk into a room. It may be poetic, or dark, or wild, or risque – but they’ll know.

You also need to think about your body type. The size of your clothes doesn’t matter – at all. It doesn’t matter whether you’re big or small, it’s how you wear them, rather than how they wear you. So before you go shopping, understand what works and what doesn’t. If you want to cinch in the waist, then focus on things that pull you in around that area. The use of accessories works great in this department, so take advantage of chunky belts, or even a funky scarf that has multiple different functions.

Your confidence.

As they say, confidence is the key, and as cliche as it may be – it’s true. If you hold your head high enough, keep that back straight enough, and smile like you mean it, you can make anything look good. Confidence is such a powerful thing that so many people want to have, because it changes everything. It changes the whole way you see yourself. How you carry yourself. And how others see you too. So even if you have to fake it – fake it! No one else knows, and sooner or later, once you see how much better everything is, you’ll start to believe it too.

Look for the things that make you happy, and draw out that energy from them, using it to your advantage. If you have certain insecurities that are always in the back of your mind, then face them – don’t let them win. It’s important to remember that everyone has things that they don’t like about themselves. Even Beyonce! No one is perfect. It doesn’t exist. We all have our scars, our stretch marks, our spots, our cellulite, our pockets of fat here and there. It’s just part of being human, and the sooner you accept that, the easier your life will become.

We spend so much of our time trying to fix ourselves, when really we should be trying to embrace all of our qualities, because they are what makes us, us. Imagine living in a world where we all accepted each other, and were each other’s cheerleaders… Wouldn’t that be just magical?

We’ll get there one day. We just need to spread the love and encouragement among everyone. It will get better.