Do you ever see an item and just know that one way or another you have to own it no matter what it costs? That’s exactly how I felt when I saw this dress from Miss Patina. At almost £70 it’s possibly the most money I’ve ever spent on a dress (aside from a prom dress when I finished my GCSEs) and I had to save hard but hands down it’s my purchase of the year for sure. It actually took me a long time to get around to wearing it, convinced the timing had to be “just right”…in the end I realised that was a pretty stupid way to think about such an awesome piece and finally popped it on just because.

I’ve included a stock image as well because I somehow didn’t manage to get a decent picture of the epic collar- Bowie and cats are two of my most favourite things ever and this dress represents my sense of style perfectly, paired with my sparkly trainers that I bought in Bershka last year this is about as me as it gets.

I finally feel like I’m dressing like myself again. It’s taken a long time and at times I have felt completely uninspired when it comes to my clothing. This year has been a tough one and somewhere along the way I lost myself for a while- between the stress of moving out of my parental home, finally admitting I had relapsed with my eating disorder, being signed off work, my relationship ending and moving back home again all within the space of 7 months it’s easy to see how everything fashion and style fell off my radar. Finally though life is starting to feel ok again. I’m settled back at my parents, my heart is healing from the break up, I’m getting help and support with the anorexia and I’ve just been given the news that I can return to work in January which is just the best possible feeling.

It’s hard too, in a world where blogging is now so prevalent. I know I’m not the most fashionable person in the world. I don’t have a professional standard photographer, a big budget for new items, the prettiest face or the popularity of so many of the bloggers I look up to and admire. This is just my part-time hobby and sometimes I feel like I just can’t compare. I think it’s easy- too easy to play the comparison game and for a while I forgot why I blog and who I do it for…that is, myself. It’s not my career, nor do I want it to be. I don’t do it for the followers, the admiration or the money/gifted items. I do it because I enjoy having a place to write and to be myself. To share the things I love (and sometimes the things I don’t).

That being said I am now getting more in to taking photos of my outfits again. My choices are getting bolder and my confidence is slowly building. It might seem strange for someone who struggles with an eating disorder to put themselves online like this and sometimes I do question how and why I do it…but the bottom line is I enjoy it, for myself. I see my body as nothing but a vessel for living my life and I occasionally feel like sharing how I dress it and there’s nothing wrong with that in the slightest. It’ll be hard, as my weight begins to creep up- it always is difficult to have a visual diary of a process you’re not entirely comfortable with, but then my blog becomes something else again, a document of how I took on my demons and eventually after 15 years of hell I came out on top.

Wow, this has turned in to an un-intentionally deep and rambling post, I would say I apologise but I’m really not sorry. It’s rare that I find myself able to express the thoughts in my head and convert them in to the written word and I make no apology for the fact that at times I feel like making them public so I have a reminder of everything I’ve been through.

Let me know your thoughts on the dress- do you have any items in your wardrobe that you simply HAD to own?

Despite my best efforts to be on a shopping ban right now a couple of accidental purchases have happened. It was inevitable really- the change in seasons, time on my hands and a love of anything remotely related to cats. Shopping was going to happen and right now I don’t have the heart to fight it.

You may remember this hat from a recent wish list post. At £10 I couldn’t resist the lure of fluffy ears and glow in the dark whiskers and I justified the purchase by reminding myself that I got rid of a LOT of hats when I moved from my flat back to my parents. I don’t care that it makes me look like I’m 9 years old rather than my 29 years- it makes me happy and that’s enough for me!

Zara is dangerous territory right now. A dear friend bought this dress and when she told me it was under £20 I was straight on the website placing my order. I’ve always viewed Zara as quite pricey but right now that have a huge range of affordable yet highly covetable pieces that are wreaking havoc with my good intentions. Still, I’ve been living in this dress since its arrival so it has already paid for itself in my eyes- and with a still undetermined stretch of time off of work ahead of me I can lounge around in it to my heart’s content.

On the subject of not yet being back at work- I’m working on it. Slowly but surely I’m fighting against the tight grip of anorexia and getting myself and my life back to where it needs to be. 2016 has been one hell of a shitty year and I’m looking forward to building up my strength and resilience ready to make 2017 a year to remember for all of the right reasons.

What have you been buying lately?