In the past, it was normal to go on a few dates before deciding that you were officially in a relationship. People would go to the cinema or perhaps out for dinner a few times to get to know one another. There were no dating apps to help start up a conversation and no option to ‘ghost’ someone by not returning their texts — in fact, you might think that it was much more romantic back then. But, the older generation had their dating sites in the form of lonely hearts ads (the first one being published in 1695) and it’s likely that people still had the experience of being stood up. So, maybe it wasn’t that different after all.
Although it may seem as though people’s attitudes towards romance has changed a great deal, it may simply be down to the way that younger generations define and recognise romantic gestures.
According to romance studies, the five most popular gestures of affection were:
Holding hands (46%)
Cuddling (44%)
Giving a surprise gift (43%)
A romantic walk (32%)
Giving flowers (31%)
When different age groups were asked about their opinions on historically chivalrous acts, differences became clear.
When asked, different age groups had very different attitudes towards romantic acts. A huge 93% of over-45s believed there was still a place for them in the 21st century whereas 37% of 18-24 year olds disagreed. In particular, ordering for someone at a restaurant was frowned upon and taking off a hat when entering a room was also considered outdated.
What romantic gestures do different generations prefer?
Different generations also express their affection in very different ways, for example:
90% of 18-24-year-olds say that they hold hands when they’re out for a walk, 70% make sure that they go on date nights together, and 68% enjoy making romantic gestures such as writing love notes.
79% of 25-34-year-olds enjoy making romantic gestures — more than any other generation.
15% of 35-44-year-olds are less likely to go on date nights than older millennials. Holding hands during walks was the most common romantic gesture among this age group.
45-54 years olds are generally less likely to buy their partner small gifts between birthdays and more likely to hold hands during a walk.
59% of 55-64-year-olds like to go on a date night and 49% enjoy making romantic gestures.
Over 50% of 65+ year-olds like to go on date nights and 40% like making romantic gestures. They were the least likely to buy gifts for partners outside of birthdays.
All participants agreed that letting your other half know how much you value them was extremely important, with 68% of people across all generations reporting that they say ‘I love you’ at least once a day.
What to do if you’re looking for love
So, other than following the typical romantic trends for your age group, what should you do if you’re looking for love?
It’s always a good idea to show your romantic side. One study revealed that 76% of Britons would enjoy having more romance in their lives but 57% said that they didn’t make romantic gestures because they didn’t want to be seen as cheesy! It might depend on where you live, too. If you live in the capital, definitely pull some romance out of the bag to woo your other half — an astounding 86% of Londoners said that they’d appreciate more romance in their lives.
Additionally, according to Zoosk (an online dating site) users that describe themselves as ‘romantic’ in their dating profiles get 24% more matches than users who do not – and, when the phrase ‘hopeless romantic’ was said, matches were boosted by 38%.
As for date locations, less is sometimes more. Three-quarters of people surveyed in one study said that ‘snuggling in front of the fireplace’ is the most romantic date, followed by ‘candle-lit dinners’ (58%) and a ‘picnic in the park’ (45%).
As for things to avoid, people voted that mobile phone addiction, in particular at the dinner table (49%), was the biggest passion-killer. Closely followed by bad personal hygiene (45%) and rudeness (33%). So, no Snapchat or Instagram posts over dinner!
It’s clear that the definition of romance has changed a great deal. But, this doesn’t mean that we’re any less romantic in ourselves — we simply have different ways of showing it. So, don’t be afraid to let your soft side show and display some affection.
